Here is a short Focusing exchange that I transcribed. Please notice the self instructions that the Focuser gave herself. The whole thing was only about 7 minutes long and yet it goes through each of the 4 main sections of a typical Focusing session.
I marked the 4 sections of the Focusing session. Pointing to the actual stages were not said by either the Focuser or the Companion.
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Companion: Are you sitting comfortably?
Focuser: yes
Companion: how many minutes signal would you like?
Focuser: two minutes
Companion: what would you like from me as your companion?
Focuser: just to feel relaxed and for you to use your intuition.
coming in
The session started with companion offering a short lead in a slow, relaxed voice ending with, “What wants your awareness now? And when you're aware of something you might want to let me know."
making contact
Focuser: I'm sensing something in me that feels kind of like a … I don't really know what to say... it's kind of like an over all jitteriness.
Companion: mmm, you're sensing something in your body that is jittery.
Focuser: I'm just going to take some time to sense how it would like me to be with it. (pause) Just as I took that time, just as I was saying those words, I realized that …. it was strange to me ..even though it was jittery, it has a feeling tone of sadness. And then a whole big story about my brother and his current life came to mind ….. around a recent conversation we had yesterday.
Companion: now you're remembering a recent conversation you had with your brother and you're sensing something in there that feels sad.
Focuser: yes, I'm checking that word sad with my body and definitely sadness is there and yet there's something about this jittery that wants to be said hello to as well.
Companion: you're sensing something in you that feels sad and there's also something that feels jittery letting you know it wants your awareness right now.
Focuser: yeah, that was really helpful having you reflect back both of those qualities because somehow with that reflection I got to be in touch with that I feel kind of jittery because I feel like I have to do something for him. And I also feel like there's really nothing I can do and that makes me feel sad.
Companion: mmm, yes you're really feeling that both of those are there right now…. The part that's really feeling jittery and the part that's really feeling sad.
deepening contact
Focuser: mm hm, so I'm going to let both of them know that I'm hearing how each one is feeling.
Companion: you have about two minutes left
Focuser: so, (pause) I'm just sitting with both of them, the sad part and the jittery part. And the jittery part is saying, “but don't give up, don't give up. He needs something from you, don't give up.”
I'm just honoring that this is its point of view and I'm letting it know that I hear it.
And then there's the part that is sad about the situation that he is going through ….. It is also wanting a little attention too. I am letting it know that I hear it too.
coming out
I'm thanking my body and my body’s process for revealing to me today the sadness and anxiousness around this whole situation. I'm letting myself know that I'll be back again to spend more time with both parts.
Taking a moment to be present with what's arising. Connecting to the support of the chair that I'm sitting in. Now I am opening my eyes and taking a breath. Thank you.
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Here are the 4 typical parts of a Focusing sessions and the Focuser's self instructions for each part. You will see that even in this short session, the Focuser was able to choose appropriate self instructions from the crib sheet and modify them to fit the session.
Coming In
“I’m taking time to sense into my body, first the outer areas, then throat, chest, belly, and so on”
“What wants my awareness now (about that issue)?”
Making Contact
“I’m sensing something...”
“I’m acknowledging this something”
“I’m sensing how it would like me to be with it.”
“I’m finding the best way to describe it”
“I’m checking the description with my body”
Deepening Contact (self instructions are not necessarily in this order)
“I’m sensing if it’s OK to just be with this.”
“I’m sitting with it, with interested curiosity”
“I’m sensing how it feels from its point of view”
“I’m sensing if it has its own emotion or mood”
“I’m letting it know I hear it”
“I’m open to any more it wants to let me know.”
Coming Out
“I’m letting it know it’s time to stop soon”
“I’m letting it know I’m willing to be back”
“I’m thanking my body and my body’s process”