Supplemental Manual
Positives
Being with “fresh air” -- something positive, relieving, enjoyable
Whenever something positive comes in Focusing, it is worth pausing to take time with it.
Positives are always welcome. It can be easy to forget this, especially at the beginning of a session when it can feel like you’re trying to help a person have a felt sense of a problem. But positive senses are just as rich to focus on as anything, and in addition they enhance the person’s experience of inner wholeness, so be glad when they come.
By a “positive feeling,” I don’t mean something the companion feels is positive, but something the Focuser experiences as positive. If you’re not sure, but you see a smile or some other clue, you can say, “And maybe that feels kind of good.” Then if the Focuser says “Yes,” you can say,
“So really take some time to receive [or enjoy] that.” Or
“Let that be there as fully as it wants to be.” (Notice how that is better than, e.g., “Let that get bigger.” Maybe the positive doesn’t want to get bigger.)
Another welcoming phrase is, “Take some time to really let your body have the feeling of that ______.” (Use their word.)
Or “Really get acquainted with that positive feeling, almost like you were walking around in it.”
Remember that most people know how to feel bad much more easily than they know how to feel good. Feeling good is worth staying with, worth practicing!
The other material will come in soon enough (either in that session or in a later one), and if the good side has been felt fully first, the Focuser will have a solid sense of self from which to sense and be a friend to the rest. What we are offering with phrases like these is extra encouragement to feel in the body.
People can feel something good without having really allowed it to be embodied fully. Even a nice short phrase can help the Focuser stay with the positive experience longer:
“Just taking that in.”
“Just letting that be there.”
Especially if the Focuser says, “I don’t usually feel this [relaxed, peaceful, …],” we will help them stay with it.
“So really savor it.” Another lovely phrase I heard,
“It’s a gift you’re giving to yourself.”
Remember that a positive, enjoyable feeling, especially one that comes as a shift, is not a part, and should not be treated as a “something.
Focuser: “That brings a feeling of relief.”
NOT: Companion: “You’re aware of a part of you feeling relief.”
RATHER: “So take some time to really have that feeling of relief.”
If the Focuser feels something positive, and that’s all they feel, and they want another suggestion, here’s a nice one:
“You might let your body show you how it feels to walk around in your life feeling that _______.” Or,
“You might imagine moving forward into the next steps of your life, still feeling this ________.”