Focusing is a tool that can be used for many areas of life. Perhaps you have been continuing in the "awareness exercise" that was recommended during Level 1 where you might pause at times throughout your day to sense what is going on inside of you. For example, maybe you feel tired at some point mid day. You might pause, sense inside for what feels like the right thing to do. You might consider taking a break to walk, or to meditate or to have a cup of tea. Pausing and bringing awareness to you body, you are likely to notice a felt sense of what feels right. That is one way to bring a Focusing orientation to your every day life.
At other times you might engage in an focusing partner exchange, using it to bring clarity to an area of life about which you feel concerned. Focusing is not a time where we try to fix something. During Focusing we simply allow our concerns to be there while at the same time, we turn our attention to our body. The body holds the memories and the keys to moving forward.
We might wonder, how is a concern that you bring to a Focusing exchange living in my body?
When we feel stuck, even slightly, in a reaction to a situation then we can pause, turn our attention inward to include the sensations in the body. We can be curious and wonder what is it like in my body? Scan the throat, heart, belly. What am I feeling? What is it like? Don't be concerned if what arises doesn't seem related to the situation. Focusing founder, Eugene Gendlin spoke of the vast web of the body. Our mind might not be able to figure out the connection between an embodied sensation and an issue. That is OK. In fact we won't be served by trying to figure out the connections. We can simply allow the connections to arise. The body "finds" out. During a focusing session we are curious regarding what is going on right here, right now in the vastness of the body.
The pathway home to our selves, especially when we are caught in suffering, is to intentionally come back right here to our bodies. When we don't hold our concerns in a Focusing orientation, we might see that we are stuck, obsessing on something, going over and over an event. Or we might feel stuck in an emotional reaction, unable to move past it. During focusing we intentionally pause to feel the situation ... in our bodies....sensing for how it is showing up on a bodily level right now. During Focusing we bring a radical acceptance of how things are in our inner landscape, not trying to fix anything. We are simply keeping company what arises with interest, curiosity and compassion. Outside of Focusing we might mull over something again and again in a stuck fashion because we have not fully embraced it. Outside of Focusing we might remember something that troubles us, remember what it was like in the past. But during Focusing what is needed to bring about change is to sense what is it like right here, right now, in the body.
Our minds will try to interpret, to figure out how to deal with our concerns. Notice how we try to make our life safe and comfortable by trying to understand it rather than being with something with embodied presence. Being fully present with an internal process allows an "in the moment living" of that which is seeking completion. Gendlin refers to a "stuck issue" as something that is frozen. It is our compassionate attention that allows the frozen places to thaw. Life processes that were frozen start to flow again. Emotional processes that got frozen and did not complete, move towards completion.
Honor the thinking mind but learn how to step out of it and experience directly. If during a Focusing session we are lost in a story of something that happened in the past, we can find our self and the present moment when we come into the body. We chose to investigate consciously. We allow the present moment experience of our issue to come into focus. Don't judge yourself for thinking, trying to figure things out, but step out of the thinking mind and sense inside ... I'm sensing something ....I'm finding the best way to describe it.
Regard with kindness, acceptance, warmth, gentleness what arises in a Focusing session. No expectations. Remember how when learning Focusing we considered that if we want a shy animal to approach us, then we are warm, gentle, accepting. This is our orientation in focusing and then we simply notice what arises and keep it company.
Ann Weiser Cornell uses the expression, "We set up camp near it." "I'm sitting with it with interested curiosity." Note that there is no judgment in "interested curiosity". There is simply a turning towards with acceptance, curiosity and compassion.
When our body allows us to deepen our connection to what is arising in the moment, shifts begin to happen. Shifts don't always come as an "ah ha" moment. They can start as quiet, almost unperceivable whispers. We continue with interested curiosity regarding anything more that wants to arise ... to unfold.... to be known.
We allow the inner wisdom of the body to bring about shifts. We can't force them. We thank our body and our body's process.
This essay is influenced by the work of Ann Weiser Cornell and Tara Brach.